Episode 83

Praying for more patience!

We have been at the hospital for four days. Grandma became worse and she was to have an operation. Fortunately, everything went well and she is getting better and better day by day.

My dad is too old and has trouble with his health too.

As to my son, each new circumstance makes him go one or two steps backward. The hospital made him recall his weird dreams. He first looked around and examined faces to find clues to relate them with his claims. He tried to imply that the hospital belonged to our family and the people working there all knew about us and all tried their best to serve us, etc.

Will he ever recover? Do I deceive myself? Am I afraid of confessing the truth? Is it the thing that I should deal with all my life long? Will I have the energy and the strength all my life long to earn a living for him? What about his brother? I am doubtful about his future too. What if he resembles his brother? What if I die one day? How will they lead the life alone? And lots of other questions with no answers!

Another thing is that I am getting absent-minded day by day. Especially when I am doing something I get confused and forget what to do next. Like when I am in front of the fridge I forget what to take out and so on.

What is happiness? It is as if it were for so long that I didnt have this feeling. Who deserves it?

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