Episode 76

Things have been going on well for a week. Prescription of the doctor seems to work. He is getting better and better day by day. He also says that he feels good.

Ten days later…

I am anxious because I doubt about his taking the pills. This thought makes me mad. The reason I feel like that is because of his face expression. I cant even bear hearing this from him that is why I cant ask him about it. What if he stops the treatment!

It now seems that he regularly takes the pills. It is okay he is being better day by day but sometimes I feel the traits of the past thoughts, imaginations from his facial expressions or his implications. But thanks God it doesnt last long and fades away quickly.

As to being a social or a responsible person and interacting with others will probably take a longer time. What I fear is that he will never try to earn a living and depend on me all the time. What if it is a part of his own character but not because of his personality disorder? Time will show the reality.

I am getting older and losing tolerance and patience. It isnt easy for a 55 year old woman to support the family financially and to do all the work at home from shopping to all the house chores. I dont know how long I will have the strength to do all.

I should also make a future plan. How I will lead a life during my retirement is unclear. There is nobody around me to be able to take care of an old woman. Sometimes I think I should find a place where old people take the nursing service. But to do this I should have the psychological strength to leave everything everybody behind and look ahead.

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