A stranger far away
It is surprisingly nice that a stranger far away has heard my voice and written to me sincerely. He was someone I appreciated him for his compliance to the meds. Thanks to him for encouraging me in my way to help my son. And another one saying that the insight will surely come to my son one day and negotiations over treatment will result in better. This was also precious to me. Because they had spent their time giving a hand to someone they didnt know.
I went to the psychiatrist for another appointment today. As always he made me speak about myself. At some points he was taking some notes. When he noticed something interesting while I was speaking he moved his eyebrows up and I understood that there was something important. He was emphasizing on my these words:
” I have recognised and accepted some realities related with my own life!”
He got exicited and asked:
I said: ” I know my son will not get well and he will not work and live like the others.”
But I noticed that he wasnt satisfied with the answer and looking for the answer which will recover me. I think he was also trying to make me recognise it by myself. I guess it is their a kind of method.
I suppose there are times in families that while some facing with bad luck the others find opportunities and make a good use of it.
The key is not to allow your inner conscious make you the slave of them. But there are also times even if you know, you see the clear truth but you cant react as they do because of your inner conscious.
But still I couldnt find the answer to what the therapist was waiting for? So while blaming the others make my life a mess, there have been some other things those I have missed to do or mistaken.
Suddenly the door opened. Came in my son with a mood down face. I knew it was impossible to hear a word in such times. That is why I didnt ask anything. He went straight to his room and lied on his bed without taking off his outfit. He lied still on the bed in the dark room for a while.
I asked him if he wanted to eat something. But the reply was:
” I have had enough of you all!”
I wondered what had happened outside but I had no courage to ask.
He might have had a little bit insight to feel the realities, I hoped.
I got ashamed of all my thoughts about my own life passed away but I wished my son to have a good life from now on.