His Apperance, Personality:
No one can understand that he is suffering from a personality disorder because
when anyone meets him they dont see so much difference as he seems to have a perfect physical appearance.
A wellbuilt, tall, young, handsome man.
As to his personality;
he sometimes seems aggressive, nervous or angry…sometimes funny with a good sense of humour…
Sometimes a bit snob…
“Anyone may have these features!”, people think.
But his encounters with people are never intentional but coincidences , I mean he always try to be away from the occasions where there are other people as he likes being on his own all the time.
I even doubt about the things happening. Could all these happen in life? Sometimes I would like to believe in that anyone might experience these things in his youth.
Perhaps these are not so serious as to consider them trouble ,but perhaps more serious than ever I have been considering as trouble so far.
This has always been a clash among the thoughts in my mind and feelings in my heart as he has changing manners, behaviours, attitudes and mood all the time.
He holds onto each of his delusions so firmly and he composes the story around the imagination he created so well that it is totally impossible to make him see the reality. A person not knowing him might even believe him.
Because he only shares his delusions with me, I am the only one to know well about him.
Perhaps this is the main reason that he is being more cruel towards me day by day. He acts as if I were his enemy. He is in the pursuit of reality which is only but only an imagination.
He says repeatedly:
“My father is not dead, he still lives and watches me.
Mum, you are always in contact with him! We are wealthy but but you keep it back from me!
It has been a long time you all are making me suffer from bad conditions.
It is high time you stopped doing this to me?”…etc.
That is why I am writing now. I strongly feel that I have to record the life I am exposed to.
I know one day I will probably have to make a decision if this goes on by getting tougher and tougher. I am in search of the best decision for him, for everyone in the family.
I may forget the details one day and I may blame myself for the things happen or the others may blame me as always.
I dont like being given advice and shown the best way to lead.
It is easy to advise, to put forward great words, ideas, examples to someone but not to stand by them.