Still Trying to Find a Way:
I am on the way to the car service to take the car back. They finished the repair two days ago.
Although it was very hard to do without it, I didnt want to get it back for two days. Because I know that it will be harder as my son will start driving again.
I want to sell the car in these days but it is very difficult to find a buyer because of the economic crisis.
I uploaded the ad on the net sites and had it sticked on some shopwindows but no returns yet.
Now, my son is texting me messages about when to take it back.
Today I have made a certain decision about the younger one.
I have been paying for his taking extra lessons from a private course to make him get prepared for the university exam. But the outcome is almost nothing. At school he is very bad at his exams, he doesnt attend the course properly.
Never does he study at home.
Today I will see the course manager to invalidate the contract as the course seems to be of no use.
When I was driving back home, I went to the course.
To my surprise the manager said my son did well in the practice exams of the course he took. ( I dont know perhaps it is said so because of the fees paid to them.)
The manager persuaded me not to make him quit the course and wait for sometime until she speaks to my son.
Although he was supposed to be in the course that day, he was at home. The manager phoned and called him to take the classes of the day, but he said he wouldnt but he would come the other day.
Then I spoke to the class coach and the course guidance counsellor. They promised to motivate him altogether.
I relieved a little bit and decided to wait some more time to see whether the things will change or not.
I am angry with his irresponsibility such as irregular attendance, coming home late, his messy room, lying in his bed with his mobile all the time when he is at home, not helping even himself in the house and so on.
When I came back home, I told him I was pleased to hear that he was doing well in the course. He was again not better than any of the students in class but doing better in each practice test than the previous one respectively.
But he was unwilling to attend the course from now on. I realised that he took the advantage of my reaction towards the circumstance in that he would have the opportunity to get rid of the extra responsibility of the course which he had never cared about so far.
The other day, when I reminded him to go to the course after school, he again got furious, shouted angrily…etc.
I said I let him do whatever he wanted. I now dont know whether he would decide on attending or not.
I am not feeling well these days. I cant manage even to communicate with my sons anymore.
Things are getting worse and worse as I am trying to do my best for them.
I am now at school where I recover from the ill thoughts at least till another one of the never ending conflicts.
I havent told my elder son for three days that I had the car back. If he asked I would tell him.
But now, I am afraid of coming across new difficulties.