Her husband was suffering from lung cancer.
Her son was 14 and the younger one was 2 years old.
40 days long She was at the hospital with her husband for his medical care.
The thing She wondered was why her son didnt even ask to see his dad during that period.
On the other side, She thought It was better since her son wasnt going to be affected badly.
Before his illnes, her husband was sometimes good, loving, affectionate towards them and sometimes cruel, pitiless, a shouting man. Just black and white.
The day he died, the child had no impression of sorrow, grief or sadness. He was almost with no reactions.
He did what he was said by the others during the funeral ceremony and seemed strong without tears.
How could she have known that it would gradually become an avalanche.
The pain I have been suffering from cant be described.
I don’t remember about such things so clearly till he was 18 years old. Life was steady and I was engaged in my own career and trying to earn more money for my children’s future.
That year I had the first shock.
He had a love affair and caused a big trouble. That was the first time I had felt the extreme panic and fear in his eyes and noticed his shaking body.
Now I can realise that he started to behave recklessly, abnormally in his teenage years.
That time I thought it was one of the mistakes in adolescence that anyone could experience.
He was fearful, anxious, just trembling not knowing what to do, begging for help.
There was nothing to do but help them to calm down and try to appease it.
Then the relationship went on for years with lots of despair, unhappiness, quarrels…
I liked the girl. She was really a nice and a beautiful girl.
(If I knew that she wouldnt be affected badly, I would tell her how lucky she was.
She is at least free from struggling with that hard and aggraviating delusional life.)
Each started to study at university in different cities.
Their relationship was going on but some things were not so good. Like he was also going out with other girls, was shouting at her on the phone…, he was getting ruder day by day.
I always tried to warn him about his behaviours but no response in vain.
I now realise that it has been always difficult to change his attitudes those quite different from an ordinary person’s.
It all began with some different and absurd telephone calls while he was studying engineering at university in another city